How can an individual identify violence in a dating relationship?
Intimate partner violence can occur in ANY relationship. In fact, 1 out of 10 relationships are violent.
How do you think dating violence begins?
Violence in a relationship usually begins with emotional abuse. It often progresses to physical and/or sexual abuse.
Abuse: any form of misuse or mistreatment of a person
Emotional abuse: nonphysical mistreatment of a person- can destroy a person’s sense of worth. Examples include verbal abuse such as name calling, insults or threats, criticism and put downs, controlling how a person dresses or acts, damaging or destroying property, demanding to know a person’s whereabouts at all times.
Physical abuse: intentional use of physical force as punishment or to exert power, control and fear over another. Leaves a mark the next day. Examples include hitting, kicking, scratching, biting, punching, using objects to physically hurt someone.
Sexual abuse: includes unwanted kissing to inappropriate touching to sexual intercourse, rape.
Teen violence is about exerting power and control over another person. Often times teenagers in violent relationships think that the person can be changed or “fixed” or that the behaviors will stop. Because the abuser is seeking power and control, the other person in the relationship can do nothing to stop the behaviors.
Cycle of Violence:
Tension building stage- precedes the violence. The abusive partner blames, criticizes, controls, threatens or makes fun of the other person.
Explosion stage- when violence erupts. It can be emotional, physical, and/or sexual.
“I’m sorry” stage- follows the explosion. The abuser apologizes through words or actions and may promise that the violence won’t happen again. But the cycle continues.
People who are abused often think they are at fault, because the abuser tells them they’ve done something wrong. Even the apology from the abuser can be manipulative (for example, “I’m sorry. If you’d only done what I’d asked, I wouldn’t have hit you).
Is the person who’s abused to blame or at fault for being abused? (NO!)
Like abusers, people who are abused may believe that violence is OK. Part of the abuse involves blaming the victim. But people who are abused are never responsible, never to blame and never at fault for the violence.
What are some of the feelings or emotions victims of dating violence may experience?
Emotions may include guilt, shame, fear, helplessness, sadness and depression.
What are some places and people you can go to if you experience dating violence?
List student answers on the board. Include information on Safe Horizons, Teen Rap, The Place, Center Against Domestic Violence.
Talk to a teacher or trusted adult, ask a teacher or school counselor to help, call an abuse hotline or rape crisis center.
Intimate partner violence can take many forms. Knowing the facts can help you stay safe.