Aim: What are the benefits to being abstinent?
Class Notes:
There are three basic elements that provide a foundation for successful romantic relationships:
Communication: being honest and saying what you want so there is no doubt you mean it
Relationship building: talking and acting in a way that shows you want to keep a good relationship going
Planning: talking and acting to make your future healthy and happy. Planning shows knowledge of what you want and how to get it.
Group activity: Lee and Lee #2
Use the worksheet from yesterday to identify the communication, relationship building and planning skills that Lee and Lee use.
Talking about love, sex, protection and relationships is critical to getting what you want and avoiding what you don’t want. Talking about these things is hard, so its tempting to just hope that your partner will understand what you want and do it. Teens who are pregnant or got someone pregnant, when asked what they talked about in situations that led to pregnancy, often say, “we didn’t talk about it, we just did it.” Not talking about it will almost surely put you at risk for pregnancy, STD’s or HIV.
Class notes: Abstinence facts
In 10th grade, 61% of girls and 58% of boys report not having sex.
In 12th grade, 40% of girls and 39% of boys have not had sex.
Among all high school students, 68% of students are not currently sexually active.
This means about 7/10 students have either never had sex, or have had sex before but are choosing to be abstinent now.
Class notes: Reasons that many teens don’t have sex.
The answers may be personal, psychological or medical reasons, which may include:
*Religious reasons or personal moral beliefs
*Abstinence can be a sign of real emotional maturity and integrity. Many young women and men report being pressured about sex. It requires maturity and honesty to resist the pressure of someone you love in order to make a decision that is consistent with personal values, morals and needs.
*Abstinence reduces the risk of getting STD’s such as herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV.
*Abstinence is the only method of birth control that is 100% effective, 100% safe and 100% free of side effects.
*Abstinence reduces the risk of cervical cancer. Research suggests there is a connection between early sexual activity, multiple sex partners and increased cervical cancer in women under age 25.
*Abstinence shows you are stronger than peer pressure.
*Many parents would be hurt or upset to know their child is having sex.
*A couple may find that delaying sexual intercourse contributes in a positive way to their relationship. Abstaining allows more time to develop a deeper friendship. They may spend more time talking, building mutual interests, sharing good times with other friends and establishing an intimacy that is other than sexual.
*Abstaining can be a test of love. Counter to the old line “you would if you loved me,” not having sex can allow time to test the endurance of love beyond the first attraction and before having sexual intercourse.
*Abstaining may ultimately help people be better lovers; it allows them to explore a wide range of ways to express love and sexual feelings.
Summary:
What are the advantages to me if I don’t have sex at this time in my life?
What could make it difficult to not have sex?
Although it is sometimes hard to practice abstinence, a good way to stick with your decision is to think of the advantages of not becoming pregnant or getting an STI or HIV. If it doesn’t seem like the “right” time to have sex, it probably isn’t. Even if a moment does feel “right” for sex, on later reflection it might not be. Nearly 2/3 of teens who have had sexual intercourse say then wish they had waited longer.